Between Expectations and Desires Title: Between Expectations and Desires Pairing:Harry Potter/Pansy Parkinson, mentions of Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley Rating:NC-17 Disclaimer:I own nothing so don't sue~ Word Count:1402 A/N: for mi scarletladyy Summery: The idea was that Harry came back from war and spent the rest of his life with Ginny. But the world doesn't know about Pansy and she's a pocket rocket that doesn't think he walks on water and Harry wonders if that is what he really wants and goes to find her after the last battle for some answers and maybe a question too.
It doesn’t take long to find the Slytherins after the battle and no one dares question him when he grabs Pansy by the harm and pulls her roughly from the group. He all but throws her into an abandoned classroom they had frequented so many times before and throws every ward known to him at the door before he turns and glowers at Pansy who tries to look defiant but the slight quiver of her lip gives her away.
“I was going to come back to you,” Harry says simply.
Pansy’s eyes flicker with something Harry can’t identify and she turns her back on him and moves to the window, “You left me here too long. You don’t know what I went through.”
“What you went through,” Harry asks in disbelief, “What about what I went through?!”
“Yes Potter, because it is always about you,” Pansy hisses turning on him again, her eyes red with exhaustion and long dried tears, “You were not the only one involved. I did what I had to in order to survive. Do you even know what happened when we were locked up down in the dungeons? Did you even realise that was where the Death Eaters broke through the wards? We were sitting ducks you colossal cunt! You left me here because you couldn’t stand the shame of admitting you came to me when Weasley wouldn’t put out. ”
“It wasn’t like that,” Harry mutters, cheeks burning with guilt all the same because it is true. He cared about Pansy but his Gryffindor courage disserted him when it came to admitting it. His heart clenches at her words, imagining the fear of the children confronted with Death Eaters and having no one to protect them but each other.
“It was. Now what do you want? You knew why I did it. You knew I was ok. What else do you want?” Pansy demands, silence falling between them before she scoffs, “Really Potter? What do you take me for?”
Harry’s jaw opens and snaps shut a few times before he finds the words, “The woman stupid enough to actually love me. Just like I’m the guy stupid enough to understand what you did and forgive you.”
“Don’t presume to know what I feel, Potter,” she hisses as she starts to cross the room.
They won’t talk about it again, Harry is sure of that the moment her hands are at his jacket, pushing it off his aching shoulders as she kisses at his lips and face and neck, biting down on sweaty dirty skin to mark him, uncaring of the state he is in. He lifts her up and her legs lock around his waist as he moves them to the desk where she immediately starts wriggling backwards, never releasing him as she pulls his t-shirt off. It has been so long that Harry doesn’t bother getting his jeans right off, just pulls Pansy’s knickers down and bunches her shirt up while she hastily unbuttons her blouse and pulls her breasts free of her bra. Pulling his cock free, Harry pulls one of Pansy’s legs up around him and slides inside her with a groan.
Pansy’s moans are sexier than he remembered in his dreams and with every thrust she just feels that much more responsive. Pansy rubs at her tits and he remembers why it was worth putting up with her backchat and plain face when he feels her tighten around him. He’d never had a better fuck. Harry doesn’t last long, coming embarrassingly fast, but Pansy doesn’t say anything. Just like she won’t say anything about what happened unless he brings it up and Harry won’t bring it up because he doesn’t talk about things. Pansy never asks and that was why he went to her.
They can’t both lie on the desk because they just don’t fit so Harry rolls off and pulls his jeans back up before sorting himself out and retrieving Pansy’s knickers from the floor and handing them to her. She takes them and just lies there for a minute before slowly sitting up with a wine and putting herself back together. Harry hadn’t meant to be so rough. He had just been so desperate. He offers her a lopsided smile and gets a scowl in response which is so Pansy that it makes him grin. As he watches her fix her hair and use her wand to get rid of the creases in her clothes he thinks about the time he’s spent away, how he was expected to miss Ginny when really he missed Pansy and their banter and the sex. He was barely an adult and he didn’t want to follow the path Mrs Weasley had planned for him where he settled down, married Ginny and started a family. Not yet.
No, Harry wanted to live. He wanted someone to argue with and have throw plates at him, fuck on the living room floor, and shout at him for not cleaning up after himself. He didn’t see himself having that with Ginny. The fire had burned bright in the beginning but really Pansy was right; Ginny wouldn’t let him in. It wasn’t about sex, it was in general. She had grown up with an image of him in her head that didn’t exist and even if he had royally shattered it over the years it was still weird and even if he had hugged her when she saw her, it hadn’t felt right. Everyone else wanted them to be together and Harry was sick of doing what everyone else wanted.
Pansy doesn’t notice him thinking so hard on the other side of the room, just nods to herself when convinced she looks presentable and turns to look at him. It is only then she notices his scrutiny and feels uncomfortable under his stare. She is used to people leering at her cleavage , paying no attention to her average face, and trying to cop a feel of her arse but Harry is looking at her, properly.
“What?” she eventually spits out, completely taken aback when Harry rises off the desk he has been leaning on and claps his hands together before taking a deep breath, making her raise an eyebrow.
“Would you like to go for dinner with me sometime?”
Pansy snorts, in a very undefined way, and actually laughs at him. It is the cackling laugh that turns people away from her because surely he can’t be serious? “What? Like on a date? With you? Me and you? Why?”
That boyish smile again and he runs his hand through his hair before shrugging, “Why not? I like you Pansy. I didn’t just come find you for a fuck, which was amazing by the way, but because...well I wanted to know if you had decided you hated me enough to hand me over to Snakeface but...I think we might just work you know? You won’t take any of my shite and well...most of what you say I will ignore to see what you really mean. Why the fuck not? You can dress up, get a good meal out of it, and if you think I’m a tosser then we don’t do it again.”
Pansy blinks and attempts and fails to speak several times before finally drawling, “Realised the great Weasley plan have you?”
He offers her a toothy grin, “I thought I’d throw a spanner into the works?”
“What is a spanner?” Pansy asks confused and Harry just walks to her and pulls her into his arms, probably their first proper embrace that wasn’t about calming town a towering rage or sex.
“Doesn’t matter but yes, yeah me and Ginny don’t fit. I don’t want us to fit. It wasn’t her I thought about on the run Pans. She was safe her as long as she behaved but you? Merlin, I feared you would be forced to take the mark or something. It was you I worried about and I didn’t really get why at first but somehow we work. No idea why but we do, so how about it Parkinson?”
She just presses her face to his chest. There was no way she saw this coming when she charmed his bag to fall apart and they ended up bickering in the Charms corridor in sixth year.